The X Men Present: Molly Whuppie
by The Odd One95
Summary: The Xmen present a tale of a clever girl- at the insistence of a blonde director who has an extreme sweet tooth.


** (Hi guys! Thanks for the reviews of last time. Chellerbelle, glad I earned your approval! :) Anyway, Chellerbelle was the original creator of this and I just grabbed the idea. Lets get on with this.)**

Once upon a time, there was a man and his wife. They had far too many children, and could not get food for them, so they took the three youngest and left them out in the woods.

The three traveled for a long time, and when they finally found a house, they went to it immediately. They knocked at the door and a blue woman answered it. "What do you want?" She asked. "Could we have a place to rest for the night and something to eat?" The oldest, Wanda, asked.

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><p>Wanda raised her eyebrows at the director, who was at this point attempting to kick into a headstand. "I thought only one of the sisters was named..." Wanda said.<p>

**Yes, only one was named. But. Remember, I have the creative license. So, I can name the other two sisters.**

"Did their parents know the meaning of birth control? Seriously, having too many kids to feed so they just dumped three of them out in the woods." Tabitha said, crossing her arms. "Who was the parents, anyway?"

**No one in the cast seemed that dumb to play their part. And the ones that were that dumb were already cast. **

Tabitha nodded. "I'll go with that. But my dad might be..."

**That's true, but he's in jail, and I didn't want to fill out all that paperwork. Too lazy.**

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><p>The blue woman, who was named Mystique, shook her head. "I'm afraid not, my husband is a cruel giant and he will kill you." The second youngest, Anna Marie, started pleading. "Please, ma'am, we're so hungry and tired. We'll leave the minute he comes back."<p>

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><p>Rogue glared and said, "I would never plead to Mystique like that. Ever." Mystique glared back at her adopted daughter. "Just because I wasn't the best mother-" "You were a horrible mom, Mystique." Rogue snapped.<p>

**Ahem, ladies. Family feud can start AFTER the parody is done. Please?**

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><p>So the woman took them in, and they sat in front of the fire. She gave them bread and milk to eat, but just as they began to eat, someone stormed into the house. "I smell young mutants in my house." Sabretooth growled. "Who is it, wife?"<p>

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><p>Everyone glanced over at the cackling director. "I would rather cut my arm off before I went near this savage idiot." Mystique said. "Like, this would be the second time you cast Sabretooth as the bad guy." Kitty said.<p>

** First off, Mystique. Its canon in the comics that you and Sabretooth hook up and have a kid. Kitty, yes I know, but he is such a good bad guy.**

Mystique rolled her eyes. "That will NEVER happen here, you hear me Sabretooth? And stop staring at my breasts!" Mystique growled. "I have another sibling?" Kurt said, perking up. "Yeah, Graydon is an asshole though." Rogue said. "How do you know?" Kurt said, slightly confused. "I looked it up when I was avoiding Remy." Rogue explained.

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><p>"Its just three young girls, Sabretooth. They'll leave in a while. Don't you dare touch them." Mystique said. He said nothing, but ate a big supper, and ordered them all to stay the night.<p>

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><p>"You see, that should've tipped them off. I would never stay at a creepy guy's house, even if he ordered me. Especially if he ordered me." Tabitha said. Rogue nodded and said, "I agree there, but they keep making these story book girls dumb."<p>

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><p>Now he had three young girls of his own and they went to sleep in the same bed as the three strangers. The youngest of the three was named Tabby (Her real name was Tabitha) Whuppie-<p>

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><p>"Yahoo!" Tabitha crowed, throwing some cherry bombs around the room. Rogue smirked and said, "I wonder if I should be happy that I'm not the heroine, or worried that you are still going to pair me up with Remy."<p>

**Don't worry, be happy! And Tabitha, don't interrupt me too much, kay girl?**

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><p>And she was very clever, although mostly mischief came from that cleverness. She noticed that before she went to bed, the giant put straw ropes around her and her sister's necks and golden chains around his daughter's necks.<p>

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><p>"And another way to say the girls were idiots to put ropes around their necks. It was just like ASKING to get killed or attacked or-" Tabitha would've continued ranting, but Pietro shot in and covered her mouth. "Seriously, girl? You need to shut up." He said. "Says motor mouth himself." Rogue said, chuckling.<p>

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><p>Tabby took care not to fall asleep, and when her sisters and the giant's daughters were asleep, Tabby got up and removed the straw ropes from her neck and replaced them with the golden chains that the giant's daughters wore, then put the straw ropes on their necks too.<p>

She then waited until the giant came in the middle of the night, armed with a giant club. He felt around until he felt the straw ropes, and then clubbed his own daughters to death. He headed back to bed, feeling like he did quite well.

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><p>"Couldn't I have just clawed them?" Sabretooth asked.<p>

**No. You might claw one of the actresses by accident and blood on the set is NOT a ****good thing. Especially when I might use it again. Reduce, reuse, and recycle, peeps!**

Rogue blinked. "Did... she just advertise her green side?" She asked. Wanda nodded and chuckled.

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><p>Tabby thought it would be a good time to leave, so she woke her sisters and they all ran for their lives.<p>

In the morning, they arrived at a great castle, owned by King Erik.

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><p>"From bad guy to king. That's quite a role switch." Remy said as he walked in. "Sorry I'm late, a card game went late with me and the other acolytes." "I'm just disappointed I'm not king this time." Xavier said.<p>

**Remy, its alright, your scene isn't for a while. Xavier, I'll be nice later, I just thought the part would fit for this.**

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><p>Tabby told the king about what had happened. King Erik listened and said, "You are a very smart girl, Tabitha. But, if you were to steal the giant's sword that hangs at the back of his bed, I shall let one of my knights marry your oldest sister, Wanda." Tabitha agreed to do so, because she saw her sister eying one of the knights in particular, St. John.<p>

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><p>"Like I would let my daughter marry that buffoon." Magneto scoffed. "Then why the heck did you hire me? And I am not a buffoon!" John said. Wanda glared, then an idea hit her. "John, pick me up for a date Saturday night?" She asked quickly. John looked at her and grinned. "Sure, eight?" "Make that seven." Wanda said, enjoying the look on her father's face. John fist pumped. "Yes, dating to rebel against the parents works in my favor!"<p>

"What interests me more, mon ami, is the fact that old bucket head knows where the sword is." Remy said. Piotr blinked in surprise. "I... never thought of it like that. How would he know where the sword was?" Remy grinned and glanced at Magneto. "So, Mags, how long have you known what Sabretooth's bedroom looks like?" He said mischievously. Magneto glared at them.

**Gah, my mind just hit the gutter, hard. **

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><p>So she went back, hid under the bed in the giant's room, and waited for him to fall asleep. Sabretooth had his large dinner and went to bed. She waited to hear him snore loudly, and then she crawled out and stole the sword.<p>

She ran out the door, and when Sabretooth heard her leave the door, he got up and began chasing her. They ran until they reached the Bridge of One hair, and she got across, but he couldn't. "You're a pain in the ass, Tabby Whuppie. Never come again!" He yelled. "Twice more, shall I come here!" Tabby called, then she ran off.

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><p><strong>Sabretooth. I did not give you permission to change the script.<strong>

Sabretooth shrugged. "I made it easier to understand, Odd Girl."

**Its Odd ONE, thank you very much!**

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><p>Tabby gave the sword to the king, and the king married his knight, St. John, to Wanda. "You've done well, Tabby, but if you think that you can do better, and steal the purse that lies beneath the giant's pillow, I shall give your next sister to one of my other knights." Tabby agreed to do so.<p>

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><p>"And you STILL manage to make this a Romy!" Rogue said, face palming. "Its not that bad, my chere. You get me!" Remy said, draping his arm around her shoulders. This time, Rogue didn't even bother to try to push him off.<p>

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><p>Tabby got into the house again, and waited till Sabretooth was asleep. Then she crept up and stole the purse from beneath his pillow, but just before she left the bedroom she tripped, and the giant awoke and began chasing her again.<p>

Tabby ran as fast as she could as he chased. Finally, she ran across the Bridge of One Hair, and Sabretooth (who still couldn't cross) yelled out, "You're a pain in the ass, Tabby Whuppie. Come back here again, and I will send you back in pieces!" "One more time," Tabby called out, "Shall I come here!"

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><p><strong>Sabretooth... you keep changing the danged script. Not saying that I don't enjoy it. But warn me, alright?<strong>

Sabretooth rolled his eyes and said, "Fine." Tabitha looked amused for a split second and said, "I'll make the assumption that she heard everything that went on the house. I wonder if she ever heard them having-"

**Okay, lets get back on topic before my teenage mind scars everyone else's. **

"What did she hear them having? Was it food?" Jamie asked. Everyone sweat dropped and the director started choking on a piece of chocolate.

**Oh gosh, I am that awful.**

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><p>She returned the purse to the king, and just like he said, he married Anna Marie to his knight, Remy.<p>

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><p>"See, I belong to only you." Remy said. Rogue opened her mouth to protest, then shrugged and said, "Aw, screw it."<p>

**What are you two... wow. This might be the first time Rogue had initiated the kiss in my fics.**

"I guess she finally found out she couldn't protest forever." Kitty said, then glanced at the other girls. "One, two, three. Awwwwwwwww!" They all said. Rogue broke the kiss and glared at the gaggle of girls. "Beat it." She growled.

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><p>"You are amazing, Tabby Whuppie! But, there is one more task. If you can steal the ring that is on the giant's finger, I shall let you marry my son." The king said. Tabby grinned and immediately agreed, for she had gotten quite the crush on Pietro.<p>

She went back to the giant's house and did the same thing as last time. When she crawled onto his bed-

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><p>Much snickering was heard and Tabitha said, "If anyone's mind did not hit the gutter, please stand now."<p>

**Aaaand there goes the last intention of making this a K+ story... I actually did originally start out with that. Then Tabby mentioned perverted things and ruined it. **

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><p>Sabretooth grabbed her and held her fast. "Ha, now I have you, Tabby Whuppie. If I had done all this to you, how would you punish me?" Tabby slipped the ring off his finger without him noticing and replied, "I'd put you in a sack, and then I'd put a cat with you, and a dog aside you, and a needle and thread and shears. I'd hang you on a wall and go to the woods and get the biggest stick I could. Then I would come home, take you down, and beat you until you were dead." Then Sabretooth grinned maliciously and said, "I'll do that to you then."<p>

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><p>"And this PROVES that the giant is an idiot. Why would he listen to her?" Pietro said. "Because like you said, speedy. He's an idiot." Tabitha said, shrugging.<p>

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><p>He grabbed a sack and stuffed Tabby in there(with much protest on her part), put the dog beside it and the cat inside, along with the other items, and went out to the wood. Then Mystique came along. "Oh, if you could see what I see!" Tabby called out. "What do you see?" Mystique asked. "Oh, if you could see what I see!" Tabby called again.<p>

Mystique decided she wanted to see and begged Tabby to let her in the sack. Tabby cut herself free with the shears and let Mystique in. She quickly sewed up the sack and ran out the door as fast as possible.

When Sabretooth came back with the stick, he started beating the sack. "Victor, its me! Let me out!" Mystique cried, but with the cat mewing and the dog barking, he could barely hear her. When he finally recognized the voice, he ran out the door, chasing Tabby's scent.

When he reached the Bridge Of One Hair, Tabby stood there on the other side, tossing his ring up and down. "Tabby, you even THINK of coming over here again, and I will kill you with my claws, no more hesitation!" Sabretooth roared angrily. "I'll never come again, you stupid pussycat!" Tabby said cockily, then ran off.

So Tabby married the prince, and never saw that giant again.

**THE END!**

"Well, that rocked. Hey, Tabitha, wanna go 'consummate' our marriage?" Pietro said teasingly. Tabitha winked and said, "Sure, 'Tro." Pietro picked her up and they vanished with a quick 'Whoosh!'.

Kitty raised her eyebrows. "Are they..." She said, not daring to finish her sentence. "Dating? Have been for three months." Wanda said calmly. "Roguey..." Remy said teasingly. Rogue smirked and said, "I'll be back later." She and Remy ran out the door.

John shrugged, picked Wanda up, and ran out, Magneto chasing them, yelling about how unfitting John was for Wanda.

Kitty glanced at Piotr. "I heard the roller rink is having a low price for tickets. Wanna go?" She asked. Piotr shrugged. "Sure, Kitty." They walked out the door.

**Well, that leaves... where did Sabretooth and Mystique go?**

Kurt shrugged. "I don't know... I gotta go, date with Amanda. Bye!" He teleported out.

**Well... I'm alone, aren't I?**

The author grabbed her book bag and began walking out when she bumped into someone. "Woah!" She hit the ground. "Hey there, Odd Person!" She glanced up and breathed a sigh of relief.

**Oh my gosh, Deadpool. Never do that again! Wait, what are you doing here?**

The Merc shrugged. "I was bored, looking through some of the movies at the institute after spraying silly string all over Jimmy's walls. And I found something you might want to parody. It has death, violence, and lots of sexy sexiness!" The director stood up and looked at it.

**This is a Disney movie.**

"I know!"

**Its a freaking Disney movie. How can Disney movies have sexy sexiness?**

Deadpool sighed and shook hid head at the blonde director. "Odd, can we just watch it? I'll prove that I'm right! Plus, Jimmy won't look for me in here."

**Alright, fine...**

_**TWO HOURS LATER...**_

The end theme finished. Deadpool, who had flipped up half of his mask, was munching on popcorn. "See, what did I say, Odd?" The girl was just dumbfounded, her mouth just hanging open. Deadpool leaned over and closed it. When he let go, it just fell open again. At this point, Deadpool just started cackling like a madman (which he is.) Finally, The Odd One started talking (But it didn't make much sense.)

**It... she was freaking POLE DANCING! And oh my gosh, that guy was a royal ****pervert! He was worst than a pervert! And... and... oh my gosh!**

Deadpool had fallen off the couch in laughter. Finally, she shook her head clear and smirked.

**Wade, you are a genius...**

Deadpool (still slightly cackling) said, "Can you cast me in it then?"

**Already got your part.**

The director and Deadpool spent the next five hours talking about casting, the main pairing, and chimichangas (And why The Odd One needed to know their entire history, plus what they even were.).

(**Was that a foreshadowing? Yes. Yes it was. If you can guess what Disney movie I am talking about, leave it in the reviews. And I don't think the female character was literally pole-dancing, she was just spinning around a pole- and then winked at one of the characters. But it still didn't look all that good!**

** Wait- does her spinning around a pole make her pole-dancing or... am I confused again?**

** Whatever. Leave reviews on what you think the movie was that I watched. Bye byes!)**


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